ST. PAUL, Oct. 25— Sheila Wellstone had been married to Senator Paul Wellstone, her high school sweetheart, for 39 years. They were all but inseparable, whether in Washington, at home in their town house here, or on the campaign trail.

One recent Friday, when Mrs. Wellstone stayed on the East Coast for a fund-raiser while the senator campaigned in Minnesota, he brought home the leftovers from his Thai dinner so she would have a hot meal when her plane landed.

Having spent most of their public and private lives side by side, the Wellstones died together this morning, along with one of their three children, three campaign aides and two pilots, when the small plane they were in crashed outside a tiny airport in northern Minnesota.

Mrs. Wellstone, 58, worked without salary in the Wellstone Senate office, focusing on domestic violence. She coordinated an annual exhibition in the Capitol Rotunda devoted to the issue, and many lawmakers looked to her for leadership on it.

''She was the best listener I have ever known,'' said Marsha Avner, who was a spokeswoman for Mr. Wellstone from 1991 to 1996. ''People would tell her their stories.''

Ms. Avner remembered one day in the early 1990's when she was touring Minnesota with the couple after a tornado, and struggled to get Mrs. Wellstone out of a crowd where she had been for about an hour.

''It turned out this firefighter who had been pulling people and homes out of the rubble for three days, had never been asked the question, 'How are you doing?' '' Ms. Avner recalled. ''Sheila asked, and he cried.''

Marcia Markuson, the Wellstones' daughter, was the middle child, a girl sandwiched between two boys. Ms. Markuson, who was 33, is survived by her husband, Todd; a 6-year-old son; and three stepchildren.

She taught Spanish in White Bear Lake, a suburb of the Twin Cities, and was named Teacher of the Year early in her career. She lived in St. Paul.

''Marcia, like her parents, had campaign dynamics in her blood and was a tireless and energized part of the team,'' Ms. Avner said.

Mary A. McEvoy, 49, the chairwoman of the department of educational psychology at the University of Minnesota who was elected associate chairwoman of the state Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party in April 1999, was also killed in the crash. She lived in St. Paul and is survived by her husband, James Cloyd, and three young children.

''I am deeply involved in developing interventions for challenging behaviors in young children,'' her Web page on the university's site reads. ''I also have devoted several years to the study of infants prenatally exposed to illicit drugs and alcohol.''

Mike Erlandson, chairman of the state Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party, said Ms. McEvoy shared Mr. Wellstone's passionate politics, and often took time off from work near the end of campaigns to follow candidates around the state.

''I might call Mary an activist's activist, in every positive sense of that word,'' Mr. Erlandson said. ''You have to have people who have the energy to carry candidates and keep them excited and keep pounding on the doors and going to the meetings and all those sort of things.''

Tom Lapic, who had been working for Senator Wellstone for about 10 years, was a staple of the St. Paul office and an expert in all things Minnesota. He and Will McLaughlin, 22, were also traveling with the Wellstones.

Mr. McLaughlin had joined the campaign just six months ago, serving as the senator's driver and right-hand man whenever he was in the state.

A local television station identified the pilots as Richard Conroy and Michael Guess.

Sheila Ison Wellstone