RuthKnight963

Today 34 years ago I met the greatest woman I have ever known

On Monday, February 7th it will be 34 years since my mom (Linda) gave birth to me. I realize that being a newborn it is impossible for me to remember it, but in my heart I do because that was the first time she held me and the moment that our bond was sealed. I was mommy's little girl from before I was born and I always will be even though she is gone. I have many memories of birthdays since like my 13th when we had just moved to a new town and I only had one friend, she found a way to make it memorable. My 15th when she got me a beautiful bracelet attached to a ring, it was silver and had a turquise unicorn on the ring and bracelet...then me and my friends stayed up all night long. On my 16th she had a cake made with a unicorn on it and although it wasn't such a nice thing, but it was funny she had "Sweet 16 and never been missed" written on the cake. I got a beautiful amythest/diamond ring that year and we all went out for kareoke...oh yeah and she also made my fav cake though she had bought one...german chocolate with coconut pecan frosting..every year thats the cake I had to have and for dinner lasagna. Its funny how birthdays lose their purpose once the person who made them special is gone. I will end this by saying "Thank you mom for giving me life, for raising me the best you could with what you had, for loving me, and for teaching me about love and how family is the MOST important thing." I miss you and I love you..I guess Monday is a day of celebration for you too huh? ...more

seems like just yesterday when I saw your face..you told me how proud you were & I walked away..If only I knew what I know today..I would hold you in my arms, I would take the pain away, thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistakes..There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again, sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there! I'm sorry or blaming you for everything I just could' do and I've hurt myself by hurting you. Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit..Sometimes I just want to hide cuz its you I miss..You know its so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this..Would you tell me I was wrong..would you help me understand..are you looking down upon me..are you proud of who I am..There's nothing I wouldn't do to have just one more chance..To look into your eyes and see you looking back! I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do and I've hurt myself by hurting you! ...more

I was in Omaha to help my great-grand sponsor celebrate 25 years being clean and during the meeting I went outside to have a smoke. It became my favorite moment of the year because it was snowing for the first time this year. It was so beautiful, big flakes and millions trillions maybe even billions of them. In that moment you were there, in that moment I remembered that the first snow of the year was your favorite day. I remember being woke up in the middle of the night just so you could show me that it was snowing. Every year since you have been gone every time the snow flies for the first time, I feel you there and in that moment I feel the excitment you felt. I just wish that feeling would stay. When I got home it faded and in its place was the pain and the emptiness I feel when I realize that I will never be woke up again in the middle of the night to see the first snow. I miss you mom! ...more

I remember the 4th of July in Norfolk at Sky View Park..I remember this so well because although it wasn't my last one with my mom, it was the last one before the family split up. Mom, Dad, me, and Candi spent the entire day at the park as a family then watched the fireworks display. Every year since when I am sitting watching a 4th of July show, I remember this day and I cry a little because I know that I can never get that day back! ...more

Its so lonely here without you, so sad along life's way...life does not seem the same since god called you away...it broke our hearts to lose you but you did not go alone...part of us went with you the day god called you home...they say time heals all sorrow and helps us to forget...but time so far has only shown how much we miss you yet!

The day I found out that you were gone, I was on my way to visit Dad and Candi in Norfolk. About half way there I saw dad's car coming toward me so I stopped on the side of highway to wait for them to come back. My world came crashing down right there in between Columbus and Norfolk. For a long time afterwards I didn't want to believe it, I imagined you alive somewhere, being hidden from us by that toothless monster. I still don't want to, but after 13 years I kind of have to. Afterall, you could never stay away from us that long. I miss you mom and I don't care if it is selfish...I want you here! ...more